Stargazing Into Criminal Activity
by The Tomato Queen
Summary: Gilbert just wants to impress Elizaveta and Feliciano wants to get back at Gilbert for Ludwig's sake. Add in a two-story rooftop and a plate of wurst and what could possibly go wrong?


Hello! This is a one shot that I wrote for the followers of my ask blog that I run: .com. They voted on the pairing and situation and this is the result! Okay so I kinda took some liberties with the situation and I added in some bonus GerIta. I hope you all like it though! Feli might seem a little OOC but thats only because I don't write him derpy. I like to think he has a devious side below all that craziness ^_^

* * *

Footsteps echoed like stolen whispers in the dead of night. Not a single creature was moving save for the two figures who slinked across a green lawn, blanketed by the ominous shroud that evening lay across the earth. They moved with stealth and poise, each move calculated so that their end goal would not be for nought.

"Ow! Gilbert, you just elbowed me in the face. I should hit you with my frying pan for that."

"Sorry, sorry. Now shush, we're almost there."

Well, maybe they weren't so stealthy. But, hey, one can pretend, right?

"Why should I listen to you anyways?" Elizaveta Hedervary grumbled, rubbing her now sore cheek as she kept pace with the silver-haired Prussian, "You haven't even told me what we're doing. For all I know it could be illegal. In fact, it probably is."

Gilbert Beilschmidt cackled loudly, the sound piercing through the stillness of the night. He grabbed Elizaveta's hand and winked one of his alarmingly crimson eyes as he dragged her onwards. The only light that illuminated their path was the soft glow of front porch light from the houses that lined the sides of the street. Elizaveta nervously tucked a strand of her fawn-coloured hair behind her ear.

"You know me all too well, Eliza dear," Gilbert smirked, his pale complexion making him appear ghostly.

"Gilbert, please, can we just go home? I don't fancy spending my night in a jail cell with you when- … is that Ludwig's place?" she yelped as a familiar two-story abode came into their line of sight.

"It sure is" Gilbert exclaimed as he started running faster, the soles of his red high-tops crunching through the meticulously kept lawn, "Seriously, Liz, be quiet or he'll hear you and then we'll have come all this way for nothing."

"Hear us? What in the world are you planning on doing to your poor brother this time? He already has enough stress with how high-strung Feliciano is. You should give him a break for once," Elizaveta lightly scolded as they reached the outside of the house.

"Give West a break?" The albino's face grew solemn as he brought a hand to chin and pondered her suggestion. A second later Gilbert let his typical, mischievous grin break through the serious expression and he peered inside one of the tall windows.

"Nah, I could never do that. He's too fun to mess with, always has been. Ooh, perfect! Feliciano is here so he'll be distracted," Gilbert withdrew his face from the glass and walked back to where Elizaveta stood. He arched his head back to look at the roof and then to the delicate, white trellis that was perched against the façade and had spindly vines curling all around it. As Elizaveta connected the dots, she shook her head furiously.

"Oh no, I am not going up there. What are you even planning to do, Gilbert? Lower yourself from the roof so you can steal something? Like in one of those horrid action movies you watch? If so, then that is ridiculous because I am not-…"

With a quick roll of his eyes, Gilbert leaned down and silenced the brunette with a hasty kiss to the lips. A rosy blush enflamed Elizaveta's face as he pulled away and her eyebrows shot downward, trying to mask her embarrassment. Gilbert, however, was unaware and he continued to hold his girlfriend's emerald gaze.

"W-what was that for?" Elizaveta spluttered in a failed attempt to regain her composure. Gilbert smiled, a genuine one this time, and shook his head.

"Can't you trust me for once? I promise we aren't going to do anything illegal, but I can't exactly tell you yet. You'll see for yourself once we're up there. Now come on, I'll give you a boost."

Gilbert laced his thin fingers together and offered them to the girl as he crouched down. Elizaveta snorted. The trellis was no more than two feet off the ground, she could handle it fine on her own. However, she figured this display had more to do with Gilbert's warped sense of chivalry and she acquiesced to his outstretched arms without a word of complaint.

The pair climbed the trellis in relative silence. Whether that was Gilbert's attempt at setting the mood or simply because he didn't want to alert Ludwig, Elizaveta was not sure. Then again, she wasn't really sure of anything that was happening tonight so she put on her best game face and soldiered on like she did with all of the albino's insane adventures.

As they reached the top of the slate roof, Elizaveta shot a questioning glance down at Gilbert. He raised a thumb up as he clambered haphazardly onto the roof and quickly scooted over to the large skylight situated directly above Ludwig's living room. Ever so stealthily, he leaned over the edge of the glass and peered below. Elizaveta, cold from the sharp wind and tired of waiting for an answer as to why they were on top of a roof in the middle of night, tugged on Gilbert's arm.

"Gilbert Beilschmidt, I'm tired of you dragging me around like this. You tell me what we're doing now or, so help me God, I'll jump of this roof and not talk to you for a month," Elizaveta demanded, her green eyes narrowed in annoyance.

Unfortunately, she just so happened to tug at the exact arm Gilbert was balancing all of his weight on, which sent the Prussian toppling face first onto the glass window.

* * *

Meanwhile, Feliciano Vargas was nestled comfortably into the molten embrace of his friend/lover/boyfriend/who-the-hell-even-knows-wha t-they-are. It was nights like these that he lived for: sharing the warmth of a fire with the one person he loved more than life itself. The Italian was one lucky man, and he made sure he realized that every single day.

Feliciano looked up at the man whose arms were encircling him and was met with a cool, cerulean stare. Upon eye contact, Ludwig's cheeks blossomed with colour. Cue a chuckle from Feliciano. He could be so adorable. He leaned up and planted a delicate kiss on the other man's lips, letting him know he had nothing to be embarrassed about. Ludwig remained a soft shade of crimson but the corner of his mouth quirked up ever so slightly, revealing his true emotions.

"I'm going to get myself a glass of beer," Ludwig announced, gently removing Feliciano's head from his lap and resting it on the couch cushion, "Do you want anything while I'm up?"

"Mmm I'll take a glass of wine if you have any. Not any of that nasty French stuff your brother always brings over, though. That stuff is just yucky," Feliciano grimaced after remembering how truly horrible French wine was. Ludwig snorted.

"You know I always keep a bottle of Italian wine for you," he mumbled quickly before hurrying out of the room, his blush back in full force.

Feliciano bit back a giggle as he watched the blonde man retreat from the room. It was beyond his belief as to how someone could be so painfully shy. Yet, regardless how shy Ludwig was, Feliciano loved the German nonetheless. In fact, it only made him even cuter in the Italian's opinion.

Out of nowhere, a resounding thud wrestled Feliciano from his thoughts. He froze in place, his heart thumping loudly beneath its cage and threatening to break free. What could have possibly made that noise? It sounded as though it had come from… up above?

Feliciano darted his golden eyes to the ceiling and was met with the crimson eyes of one Gilbert Beilschmidt staring at him through the skylight. His jaw dropped in utter shock as the man on the roof scrambled for balance. After a moment of struggling, Gilbert placed his hands on either side of the window and lay flat on his stomach so as not to topple off the house. He glanced behind quickly to offer a reassuring grin.

At this, Feliciano grew incensed. Both he and Ludwig were growing tired of Gilbert's constant pranks. This will have been the fourth time this week he's messed with his poor brother. Couldn't he leave Ludwig alone for once?

Suddenly, the Italian's lips parted wide with mirth. This was the perfect opportunity to help Ludwig retaliate to his brother for being such a nuisance as the time. Feliciano returned his eyes to the skylight and raised his eyebrows quizzically. Gilbert waved down at him and pressed a finger to his lips. _Shhh. _Feliciano could see the sound forming on his lips. However, he shrugged his shoulders and shook his head. Instantly, Gilbert's eyebrows shot downward in confusion.

_What? Feli, come on, _he mouthed as he rapped his fist on the window once.

Feliciano squinted his eyes as if considering the statement but once again shook his head. He also added in a wink this time for good measure. Above his head, Gilbert began to utter what the Italian could only guess was a string of profanities until an arm appeared from off to the right and snatched him away from the window. Feliciano smirked. This was going to be fun.

"I wasn't sure if you were hungry or not so I figured I'd bring food just in case," Ludwig announced as he reentered the room, juggling two drinks and a plate of wurst precariously in his grasp. Miraculously, he managed to set the items on the coffee table without even a single drop of liquid spilt onto the immaculately white carpeting. After handing Feliciano his glass, he settled back into the couch.

"Ve, Ludwig?" Feliciano asked, feigning the innocence that so easily captured the German's attention.

"Yes, what is it?" Ludwig answered without looking, his sights set entirely on the plate of wurst before him.

"I… I think I heard someone on the roof," Feliciano continued, dramatically batting his long, dark eyelashes. "They sounded really mean and scary!" Ludwig furrowed his blonde eyebrows in confusion.

"The roof?" he questioned slowly, as if tasting each word on his tongue. "Nein, it was probably just a squirrel. Stop being so over imaginative all the time."

"No, I swear I heard something! And I need big, strong Ludwig to take care of it so I won't be so scared anymore," Feliciano whined.

"Feli, I already told you. Just because you think you heard something doesn't mean-…"

As if on cue, a sharp thump resounded from above followed by a heavy dragging noise. Ludwig turned to the Italian, his features widening in surprise. Feliciano smirked triumphantly.

"I told you there was something up there. You should have just believed me. I would never steer you wrong! Wait, what are you doing with that?" he added as Ludwig snatched up his cell phone.

"I'm calling the police, of course."

"What? No! You can't do that," Feliciano yelped, his heart faltering in panic. This wasn't the way he'd imagined this would go. He'd assumed Ludwig would check out the disturbance himself, not call in the police. Gilbert might have been a pest but he didn't deserve going to jail. The Italian bit his lip, trying to think of a way to right the situation. Ludwig shot him a puzzled glance.

"Of course I can. I'm not taking any risks on your safety," he explained while punching the three tell-tale numbers into the dial pad.

"But, but Ludwig! I mean, don't you want to check it out yourself first? You're much stronger and braver than any police officer I've ever seen and I'd feel much more comfortable if it was you protecting me and not some mean-looking guy in a bulletproof vest and, well, it is your house so really you should take responsibility and see what's up there and- LUDWIG STOP!" Feliciano begged as the German smacked a hand over his mouth to silence him.

"Hello operator?" he spoke into the phone, "I'd like to report strange noises coming from my roof. I think it might be someone trying to break in. Yes. Yes. 1106 South Olive Street. Thank you."

After the operator hung up, Ludwig set down his phone and removed his hand from Feliciano's mouth. Feliciano frowned slightly but made no other complaints. Ludwig sighed.

"Honestly Feliciano, I have no idea what all that fuss was about," Ludwig sighed. "Follow me. We're going down to the basement until the police arrive and there's nothing to worry about anymore."

"Oh there'll be something to worry about when you have to bail your brother out of jail," Feliciano muttered, dutifully trailing behind the German.

"Hmm, what was that?" Ludwig asked as he flipped on the basement light switch.

"Nothing," Feliciano weakly replied. What had he gotten himself into?

* * *

"Geez Elizaveta, could you be any louder?"

"It's not my fault it's so difficult to walk in these shoes on ground, let alone on a two-story house's roof."

"You didn't have to wear them."

"_You_ didn't tell _me_ we were going to be climbing houses!" Elizaveta retorted as she shakily set foot on the stretch of roof directly above Ludwig's second floor. She glared at Gilbert and he held his hands up in surrender before grasping her arm to help her up. The shingles creaked beneath them as the structure took on their weight.

"Yes that's true but you wouldn't have come with me if you truly didn't want to," Gilbert pointed out as the Hungarian girl spluttered indignantly. "Okay, close your eyes and lie down. Don't open them until I tell you to." Elizaveta blew her bangs off her forehead with one last "hmph" before obediently closing her eyes and leaning back onto the uncomfortable roof tiles. In the darkness, she could feel Gilbert snuggle up beside her and lace their fingers together. A comfortable moment of silence passed between them and Elizaveta felt all her previous tension melt away.

"You can open your eyes now," Gilbert announced.

As Elizaveta's paper-thin lids fluttered open, a sight like none she'd seen before was presented before her. The sky unfolded before her like a cushion of soft velvet, the deep blue richer than any man-made colour. Each star was nestled in the heavens like a precious gem, twinkling just for them. There were quartzes and opals, sapphires and garnets. Every new shade adding to the myriad of jewels. It was like their own personal treasure box had been poured out onto a velvet carpet and if she stretched her hand far enough, she could snatch away one of the gems for herself.

"So, what do you think?" Gilbert murmured into Elizaveta's hair, too busy gazing at his beautiful girlfriend so look at the sky himself. Elizaveta tore her eyes away from the stars and smiled, giving Gilbert's hand a gentle squeeze.

"It's the most beautiful sight in the universe," she answered whole-heartedly. The silver-haired man chuckled as he laid a kiss on Elizaveta's forehead.

"Sorry, babe, that title has already been stolen by you," he said. Elizaveta snorted. Gilbert was such a closeted romantic. However, she did not complain or tease him. She simply laid her head on his chest and listened to the steady beating of his heart, the stars sparkling against their velvet home.

That is, until a siren started blaring in the distance.

"Gil, do you hear that?" Elizaveta asked.

"Yea? So what, it's a siren. We hear them every day," he grumbled, slightly irritated the perfect silence has been broken. Elizaveta was not as easily settled, however, and continued on.

"Maybe we should get down from the roof. I mean even if they aren't after us they could see us up here and think we're criminals," she protested until Gilbert tightened his arms wrapped around her.

"Liz, it's fine," he reassured her in a soothing tone that contrasted greatly to his normally brash voice. Despite her inner conscious screaming to abandon mission, Elizaveta quelled her trepidations and relaxed once more into the arms of her boyfriend. Yet, as time ticked on, neither could deny the fact that the sirens were only drawing closer and didn't stop until the flashing lights could be easily seen from their rooftop view. The Hungarian girl clambered over to peer off the side of the roof but immediately drew back in fear.

"They're right outside the house," she hissed in panic. "I thought you said what we're doing isn't illegal!?"

"It's not," Gilbert stated, confused. He jerked a hair through his pale locks and looked down below to where two cop cars were parked on the street in front of his brother's house. The sirens had stopped but the coloured lights were still flashing and one of the officers was preparing what looked like a megaphone. As the officer strolled towards the house, Gilbert accidently caught his eye and he wrenched himself away from the edge of the roof.

"Scheiße," he swore, "That officer saw me. He knows we're up here. Gottverdammt, what are we going to do?"

As the Prussian spew profanities, Elizaveta sent her brain into overdrive. She knew Gilbert was terrible in situations that required on-the-spot thinking and it would be up to her to get them out of this mess. Obviously, they couldn't escape the way they'd came so that only left one possibly route. It was risky, at best, but it was all they had at the moment. She turned to face Gilbert, the stiff autumn breeze whipping through her long brunette hair.

"How do you feel about parkour?" she calmly inquired. Gilbert withdrew his face from his hands and raised a thin eyebrow.

"Par-what?! No way, Liz, I am not doing any of that fancy jumping crap Alfred is so crazy about. Why can't we just use the trellis?"

"You can if you'd like to spend the night in jail while you wait for Ludwig to come rescue you," Elizaveta sweetly retorted as she inched closer to the back edge of the roof, "Catch me if you can!"

With a grin, the adventurous woman leapt off the roof. Gilbert's heart plummeted downwards as he skittered over to the side to make sure Elizaveta hadn't hurt herself. As always, she was fine and had landed safely on the wooden awning above the back patio. Using a drainage pipe for leverage, she slid down from the awning and sprung onto the grass, crouching low to soften the jump. She checked the side of the house for any cops and gave a thumbs up when she was sure the premises were clean. Gilbert sighed.

Elizaveta was going to be the death of him, he thought as he followed the same route she had taken, albeit with much less skill and grace. When he hit the ground, Elizaveta scurried over to him and made sure he was uninjured. After much fussing between the two, she deemed him fit to move.

"Took you long enough," she teased as they meandered off into the night.

"Psh, whatever. I just value my life unlike you, crazy woman," Gilbert laughed, ruffling his girlfriend's hair.

"Stop right where you are! Put your hands above your head and do not move. You have the right to remain silent."

Both Gilbert and Elizaveta halted abruptly when the abrasive voice rang out from behind them. They looked at each other, too afraid to think. Finally it was Gilbert who broke free of the terror and spoke up.

"Liz?"

"Yeah, Gil?"

"You know how we were told to always obey when someone asks you to do something?"

"Yes."

"Now is not one of those times," he stated before latching onto Elizaveta's wrist and running as fast as he could away from Ludwig's house.

The pair ran and ran and didn't stop until they reached the small city square a few blocks away from Ludwig's neighbourhood. Both were out of shape and panting very heavily. Anyone out on the streets could have heard them easily. Realizing this, Gilbert steered Elizaveta into the nearest alcove of a shadowed alleyway.

The space was barely big enough for one person, let alone two but somehow they managed to squeeze inside, their bodies pressed flush against each other. As the angry footsteps of the cop chasing them approached, Gilbert pressed a hand against Elizaveta's mouth to quiet her breathing. They watched with anticipation as the cop slowly made his way past where they were hiding.

As soon as they were sure he was long gone, Gilbert removed his hand and they both let out a long sigh of relief. Elizaveta shakily met the Prussian's gleaming eyes and they collapsed against each other in a fit of giggles.

"Only you, Gilbert, could turn stargazing into a criminal activity," she giggled. Gilbert grinned as he cupped Elizaveta's chin and stole a heated kiss from the love of his life in a dark alleyway in the middle of the night.

"And only you, my dear Eliza, would be insane enough to enjoy it."

* * *

The end 3


End file.
